Good advice

In an effort to lighten things up around here, allow me to pass along some words of down-home country wisdom that a good friend sent me via email:

• Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.


• Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.


• Keep skunks and lawyers at a distance.


• Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.


• A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.


• Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.


• Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.


• Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.


• Meanness don't happen overnight.


• To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.


• Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful.


• Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.


• Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.


• Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.


• Two can live as cheap as one, if one don't eat.


• Don't corner something meaner than you.


• You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies.


• Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.


• It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.


• Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.


• You can't unsay a cruel thing.


• Every path has some puddles.


• Don't wrestle with pigs: You'll get all muddy and the pigs will love it.


• The best sermons are lived, not preached.


• Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.